Your Cell Phone is Ringing, it’s Mom she has Fallen and is now at the Hospital!
You were just having a very average day before your cell phone rang, you answer it. You identify the caller as your mother, however it is a mans voice, the local Emergency Medic on the scene. He tell you your mother fainted, fell to the ground, got scraped up, has many cuts to her neck and face, and needs to be transported to the local hospital for evaluation. Now what do you do? Is this a call for immediate action? If so how will you deal with the emergency after all you live 500 miles away from Mom. Oh yes weren’t you the one Dad told on his death bed, “Please promise me you will always take care of your Mother after I have gone.” Yes my friend you were the one that your father expected would take care of Mom. But that is really unfair, since you have other siblings who can do the job. Actually the reality is your other siblings are FLAKES. You never were able to trust them as kids, they never were responsible as adults, and they never were able to handle their own affairs and money well. Yet now is the time you need them to help carry the Aging Parents Care Burden (APCB)!
So what do you do now that you got the emergency call, take the next airplane out and cancel the rest of your day or week? This experience is not a unique one, and in fact is quite common to now Baby Boomers. However this crisis forces you to re-evaluate your family resources. Are you really totally alone on this one, or is there a way to take leadership from a far and coordinate the local response team? The answer is that this emergency probably does require your immediate advocacy in the hospital. However this crisis situation your serve you as a “wake up call” to do some proactive planning. Once at the local hospital go see the discharge nurse. Ask her to refer you to a private Geriatric Care Manager. This nurse or social work professional can serve as your local coordinator of all the medical and emotional needs of your mother. The professional can evaluate if it is safe for Mom to return from the hospital to the family home, or if she needs additional services to care for her needs including the safety ones. The Geriatric Care Manager can take Mom to doctors appointments and or be there if Mom is admitted to the hospital again in the future. This professional can serve as the “non-emotional” point person to coordinate care with your siblings if they care to help out with Mom.
Remember the best thing you can do for yourself and your Aging Parent is hire a Geriatric Care Manager.
Please check out Carolyn Rosenblatt’s new book “How to find and hire a Care Manager” part of The Boomers Guide to Caring for Aging Parents. It is also available on Amazon.com
